The Difference

Why is it so hard for you to see?
This is affecting more than just me?

I know things will never be the same
How could you not feel any shame?

Do you know you've hurt my daughter too?
You say this is for her, but it's all about you.

What gives you the right to tear our lives apart
I try to pick up the pieces, but don't know where to start?

What have I done, it must have been really bad?
Or is this all about a choice you know you never had.

You selfishly had my life all planned out
Did it ever matter what my dreams were about?

Though cutting the apron strings was long over due
Now I'm fighting to keep my daughter safe from you.

I don't want her learning what you have to teach,
How you've been wronged, you know the speech.

My daughter will know her Mom is always here,
Turning my back on her, she'll never need to fear.

Things will be tough; I'm not that naive
But never so tough that I'd just up and leave.

She's my daughter, but her choices are her own
Some I will agree with, others I won't condone.

If things get rough, I'll just remember what you taught me,

The lesson of Mothering 101, and how not to be.

-Donelle Gregory

I Buried My Daughter Today

I buried my daughter today,
I never thought I would.

I watched them place her in the ground,
I never thought I could.

There were so many things left to say,
I just never thought I should.

It's been years now since my daughter and I lost touch.
I use to wonder what it would take, obviously not too much.

Now sadly, the "someday" I counted on, I know will never be.
I wonder who was by her side; I wished it had been me?

I'm sorry my baby girl, I'm sorry about the fight.
I'm sorry I couldn't let it go, and let things turn out right.

The day you were born, I feared the thought of ever letting you go,
Though it's too late, I now understand it was your job to grow.

When you were "little" I was your Mommy, the best that I could be,
Then one day you were all grown up, and I lost a big part of me.

Who was I without my little girl? What would I do then?
I tried to set you free, only to selfishly pull you back again.

The more I pulled you close to me, the further you would fly.
So, I told you I didn't need you, did you know that was a lie?

Despite the time we spent apart, I pray to God you knew.
No matter what was said or done, I never stopped loving you.

I buried my daughter today,
I never thought I would.

I watched them place her in the ground,
I never thought I could.

Now I try to say the things that should have been said before,
Sadly, good bye is all that is left; there is nothing more.

-Donelle Gregory