These are some thoughts that we have put together to help parents avoid the pitfalls of these cases in which many of us were caught.

Prior to continuing through this section, please be sure to explore other areas of grandparent visitation (GPV) and grandparent's rights (GPR) such as ... www.parentsrights.org, www.parentsrights.com, or www.parentsrights.net. This will prerequisite will provide you with the general knowledge necessary to allow the information and ideas available in this section to be used to their fullest extent.

Remember, it is impossible to pose too many questions. It is the job of the attorney to answer questions. But keep in mind that they will charge you by the hour so it may be helpful to have a written list of questions with you. Leave a few blank lines in between questions so you can make notes or write in answers.

Listing Prospects:
First you should put together a list of prospects. To develop this list, talk to your friends and business acquaintances, contact local and state bar associations, look for newspaper stories from attorneys in your area; check the Martindale-Hubbell law directory at your public library or local law school library.

Interview the attorney:
Make sure there are no conflicts of interest with the attorney such as being a personal friend with the litigating grandparent. Ask what percentage of his or her practice is family law. Ask the attorney if they have been involved with the drafting of any current visitation legislation. Ask how many GPV cases have they had in the last 12 months and of those, how many were successful. Ask: Of those cases how many were grandparents and how many were parents? Ask the percentage of out of court settlement vs. trial cases. Tell the attorney you are looking for someone to work "with you" on this case.

Discuss the fees.
You will want to know about hourly rates, fixed rates, contingency fees, retainer fee, document fees (such as faxes and letters), legal aid fees (or paralegal), minimum hourly fees (such as if you call them for a quick 2 minute conversation will they charge you for a 15 minute minimum). Don't be bashful about asking how your money is going to be spent. For example, is there a retainer fee involved? In most cases the answer is yes, meaning a fee is required to be paid up front prior to the undertaking of any work on your behalf. As work is completed, the bill for such is subtracted from the retainer. In some cases, the retainer fee will be used up prior to completion of the GPV process and another retainer will be collected. It is always a good idea to ask for a monthly statement clearly showing what specific services your retainer has been charged against and whether or not you are entitled to a refund if all of the retainer fees have not been used.

It is also of great significance to clarify and understand exactly which services are considered as "billable". This can be an invaluable tool in the choosing of the actual attorney. Will the attorney provide you with a complete itemization of the costs involved; i.e., court fees, expert witness fees, and other related expenses? Are the time records accurate and the actual billing statement easily understandable? Does the attorney make available all documentation relating to your case? Be sure and get a hard copy for your personal set of records.

Understanding the how the attorney works.
Any good attorney should not only be able to give you a clear understanding of your legal rights and how he or she intends to represent such, but will also efficiently handle even the simplest of tasks, such as returning phone calls in a timely manner. Remember, the attorney's primary function is to secure the most favorable and economic outcome on your behalf.  Again, it is wise to have all these issues addressed and clarified prior to the actual hiring of any specific representation.

Ask for a few references.
Call those references and ask hard questions of them such as;

• Would you trust this attorney with your child?
• Are you related to or do you have any relationship to this attorney?
• Have you actually used this attorney personally?

Lastly, ask yourself if you personally can communicate effectively with the attorney.

1. Document everything that happens. Hand written notes are okay, they don't need to be anything fancy. Your records do need to be accurate and factual. Capture "who, what, where, when, witness's, etc."

2. Check with the laws in your state about recording phone calls. If legal, consider getting a tape recorder for your phone, practice using it then use it on every call with the GP's. If it is not legal to record the conversation itself, record what transpired during the conversation. Save the tapes forever. It's better to have it and not need it than the other way around.

3. Let the litigating grandparent's attorney type up all the documents. It's their lawsuit so let them pay for the paperwork! It costs much less for your attorney to review and proofread the documents than to pay them to have their staff type any required documents or orders. However, be careful that there are no mistakes (especially those little mistakes that may be "accidentally" slipped in giving them much more leverage) and promptly send it back if errors are found. After the fact it is extremely hard if not impossible to correct a typo.

4. You will need to specify in your paperwork that the people suing you will have to pay your attorney fees if/when you win. It is important to follow through to show them you are not a push over and will fight them tooth and nail every step of the way.

5. Make sure there is a Court Reporter present anytime you are in the courtroom and judges/attorneys are discussing your case. This eliminates any problems about what the judge said. This is extremely important. Most court reporters cost extra. Consider it insurance. You had piece of mind if you don't need it. Also, refuse to enter the courtroom if a bailiff is not present. It has been known for the opposing parties to make untoward comments to the other party, or make accusations of such. Having a bailiff present can prevent such occurrences.

6. Be careful as to what you agree to if you go to mediation. Most of us in CRPR agree that nothing should be agreed to in mediation. If an agreement is reached, make sure it isn't written up as an "agreed order" as they are very hard to change or fight after they are issued.

7. Be watchful of paralegals doing much of the footwork that you could do yourself if you utilize all of the CRPR's resources. Make sure the paralegals don't make unnecessary calls or make idle small talk when they do call. They are likely charging you and it's your money! Using the resources on the CRPR's websites will likely give you more information and knowledge of possible pitfalls to avoid. It's very possible (and likely) that you will have more information than the attorneys do. Doing this research will save your attorney time and save you money.

The attorney you have selected got into this business, in part, to make money. He or she does this to support their family just as we all have our professions. It is important to get what you pay for without going overboard. Price shopping an attorney is like price shopping a surgeon. Do you really want the lowest priced surgeon you could find to open your chest up for a triple bypass? The attorney you select may cost you a small fortune. Some of the CRPR members have successfully defended their cases with as little as a few hundred dollars. Others have spent well over $100,000. The safety of your children and sanctity of your home is worth your investment, both in the time you spend acquiring knowledge, as well as the dollars you invest in an attorney.

Special thanks to John, Sue & Den in West Texas and all the fine folks of CRPR for helping put this page together.