Today's new fad appears to be grandparents believing they are best suited for grandchildren and it is within their best interest to be raised by grandparents.  Courts are allowing such action claiming "best interest of the child."  This raises some pretty interesting topic, and legal issues.

Exactly what IS best interest of a child?  Below you will find my concerns about this.
 

1.     Are there any outlines for a parent to go by concerning "best interest of the child?"  If not, how does a judge decide?  Is a judge qualified to make that decision without the proper training?  Judges are lawyers and are required to interpret the law as written, not be a child psychologist. Should "grandparent visitation" trials be put in front of a jury?  Since a judge is not a psychologist, we as parents are forced to live under his/her moral values based on his/her personal state of mind, and beliefs, not what's within the child's best interest.  At least with a jury, there are several people who help decide on the issue at hand.

2.      Would it not be within the "child's best interest" to at least be interviewed by the judge and a child psychologist before a final decision is made concerning what's in the best interest of a child?

3.      If there were "guidelines" concerning "best interest of the child", doesn't that take away the freedom of how a parent can raise their child?

4.      Are parents not capable of deciding what they feel is within their child's best interest? Are grandparents more capable of deciding this just because they are older, or have already raised a child?

5.      Since grandparents are now demanding, and receiving these so called visitation "rights", and in many cases the same visitation a parent would receive, should grandparents not also be required to pay child support too?  We parents do understand grandparents aren't buying "visitation", but they are interfering with the parent/child bond, and also within their decision making to a degree.  By all rights, this should meet "child support" requirements.

6.      Shouldn't an awarded visitation also include the parents "standards" for the child's upbringing structure?  Is it not confusing on a small child "you act this way at mom and dads house" and "this way at grandparents house"?

7.      Religion should be up to parents.  Parents decide what church to attend,or not to attend, grandparents are allowed to take the child to any church they so choose.  What right does a parent have to get around this? Grandparents are completely undermining parental authority. Grandparents should also be required by any and all court orders to give parents a list of what's planned for their child during visitation.  Telling them what movies they might happen to have plans to take the grandkids to.  It might be one that isn't within the best interest of the child!  And if plans are changed after the list is given to the parents, what course of action does a parent have if they disapprove of the activity?

8.      Kids for sale.  This leaves parents helpless in the fact grandparents have more money than a struggling new parent does.  Of course a grandparent in most cases can provide material things over what a parent can.  Is it our child's best interest to get everything they want at any given time? Do grandparents feel they need to "buy" this love and affection?  Anybody can buy a child flooding him or her with toys, candy, etc.  Does this teach the child self respect?  Does this also teach the child to just call grannyand grandpa when mom and dad say no, you can't have that?  Does it not matter what the reason is from the parents?  Grandparents that buy the kids toys and use them to make the kids want to come back next time by not allowing them to bring them home, and tease them with their new things?  Is any of this best interest of a child?

9.      Do parents wish their kids brought up thinking they 'HAVE" to go to their grandparents every other week, and one week of the summer and rotating holidays?  Is this how life is to be set out for them?  Do grandparents not realize in time, a child will learn to hate them because they are forced to go on these visitations against their wish's and the kids end up using them for their own good and values become nothing?  Once visitation is awarded, is it best interest of the child to cancel plans because of these court ordered visitations, then at the last minute the grandparents call and cancel that weekend because something better come along and then the child has missed their function?

10.     Are parents suppose to stand here and allow grandparents take their kids on weekends there are school functions, scouting, church functions, dates, etc?  Is this the best interest of a child they miss that weekend field trip with their class because it is the grandparent's weekend?  Is it fair that a kid be forced to leave their parents on major holidays?

11.     Do judges feel it is the best interest of a child to award visitation over the objections of natural parents and also a child psychologist, and the child?  Children that's been admitted to mental hospitals many times, and several child psychologist from several different institutions find mental abuse by the grandparents, should this be ignored by our courts, and is this also considered best interest of a child?

12.     Schools calling parents asking them to please stop grandparents calling and harassing them, threatening court action if the schools don't release information to them on demand and nothing to justify this.  Grandparents threatening court action to the child's psychologist and hospitals because they can't, nor won't release information to them concerning the child. Proven false complaints filed with department of human services causing great embarrassment to both child and parents.  Is this also best interest of our children?  Parents being under investigation for abuse only to find the child is in above normal care is nothing more than harassment by grandparents and is sure not what I would call best interest of a child. Do grandparents not realize just how embarrassing this is to a child knowing there is no abuse of any kind?  Do they not realize the rumors and gossip from school staff and the extra undo stress brought on to the parents because of this?  Do grandparents feel the need to punish theirchild because they can't turn loose of the fact the child is trying to raise a family of their own?  Is this constant harassment and mental abuse best interest of a child to have their parents in a total state of chaos in mind?  Grandparents need to realize a parent could do more for the child without the extra pressure and these harassments take away time that could be devoted to their children.

13.     Should a parent adopt a child, should the new grandparents be allowedto sue for visitation when there is no blood relationship?  Don't parents have their hands full building that precious mother/father/child bond without grandparents interfering?  Some states consider an adoption to classify as "natural parent", while I happen to disagree, it is not natural, nor biological.

14.     When a grandparent has the "right" to sue their child for visitation, why is it that the child can't sue their parents for visitation of a minor bother or sister providing there is no mental, physical abuse, drugs, or alcohol abuse?  Is it not just as important that a brother and sister have a relationship as well?  If GrandParents visitation is the best interest of children, why is it that parents can't sue grandparents and force them totake a part in their grandchild(s) life?

15.     Should grandparent visitation be awarded as a "life" sentence with no reviews as to "best interest of a child?"  Should courts not review and interview all parties involved at random times?  Is it best interest of the child as a baby to be forced to go until the age of 18 with no say in the matter without costly lawyers eating funds that could be put to better use for the child?

16.     Working parents have short times in the evenings with their children, weekends are quality time.  With grandparents visitation being allowed and awarded like parental visitation, this greatly puts a damper on quality time.  If both sets of grandparents were awarded standard parental visitation, there would be no weekends, or holidays with their children which results in no quality time.  Parents would become nothing more than baby-sitters, and yet, still responsible for finance, and clothing, and food, shelter, and very little bonding time.

17.     While grandparents allege to have a constitutional right to visit their grandchildren, the right of companionship, care, custody, control, and management is a fundamental right to parents protected by the United States Constitution, and Oklahoma State Constitution.

(a)     Oklahoma Constitution clearly states: "parents rights to their minor children's custody, control, care, services and earnings and their duty to support and educate such children and pay for necessities."

(b)     Also, "Rights of parents to society and association of their children and opportunity to give them affection and guidance in their rearing."

(c)     "Rights of custody as between parents, and rights, privileges and obligations of parenthood should not be abrogated by court in ex-parte administrative proceedings."

(d)     "Children existing under State Statute will not be destroyed by legislative act nor expressly nor by necessary implication abrogating them."